If there's anything the Internet era has led to, it is undoubtedly that of attempting to squeeze complex issues into easily digestible form.
Once upon a time talking relationships meant relaxing over tea for long stretches of time, relentlessly plowing over every little detail. Nowadays, if it doesn't come in bullet points, you might as well not bother.
Couple this with the advent of widespread corporatism, and not only does relationship feedback have to be blunt and succinct, it usually also has the end goal of softening you up to whatever product the platform is offering. Not that this is a bad thing per se, but it does lead to a lot of questionable advice. Here are a few examples.
Silver Bullets And False Hope
All it does is exacerbate insecurity and due to the nature of supply and demand potentially lead to an ex to miss us (temporarily).
Don't get me wrong, used correctly, which is to say to allow ourselves to heal, no contact is a useful tool. The problem is that it has become a packaged good, a cure-all that promises to drive ailing loves back into our arms without actually ever having to risk rejection.
No contact is a self fulfilling prophecy if used as a manipulative tool. It will lead to silence.
Bad Press Is Better Than No Press
Staying in the picture isn't always possible, particularly if our ex is adamant about keeping their distance. This is their decision to make, but some articles make it seem as if it is somehow playing hard to get.
It's never too late! Except when it is. At which point, we should focus on our self-esteem and worth, rather than bulldozing what little is left. Hanging on has a cost.
If you need contact, but don't have access, enter bad press. Where you use whatever communicative bridge available (e.g Facebook) in order to grab their attention. And nothing gives you the illusion of still being in a relationship quite like shouting inanities at each other (just like you used to).
To a broken ex, bad press is better than no press. But if we had any real, objective sense, we'd quickly realize that advertising our grief in this way is both transparent and counterproductive.
If we take acceptance as the end goal of healing, muddling the waters in this way sets us right back at the start.
They Don't Deserve You
Oh please. The idea that being dumped means being misunderstood of taken for granted always sets my teeth on edge.
Sometimes there's no real blame involved in the demise of a relationship. People can drift apart, or realize they never were on the same wavelength to begin with.
This isn't a reflection of worth, it is merely two different people attempting to negotiate a common ground which often isn't ever going to realistically manifest itself.
The problem is our tendency to pin our status and value on our relationships rather than exist as individuals that share aspects of life.